My Liver Cancer Blog

That is, the first scan since starting chemo/immunotherapy. It showed no decrease in size for the main tumor in my liver – still 10.4 cm. But a smaller tumor decreased by almost 1/3, from 3.2 cm to 2.4 cm. And no spread to anywhere else in chest, pelvis, or abdomen. That last bit is excellent news.

I’ll admit I’m disappointed. I was really hoping to see that large tumor shrink. That it hasn’t makes me fearful for the future. I worry that if it shrinks, it won’t shrink enough for surgery or histotripsy (which is essentially using powerful ultrasound waves to pulverize a tumor). I worry it won’t shrink at all. I want to tell it to get the fuck going – no time to waste, time to start disappearing.

I’m trying to keep rational, positive thoughts front of mind. First, this scan was early – only 2 1/2 cycles in. Lots of patients don’t see tumor size decrease until after cycle 4. Second, if the chemo can shrink the smaller tumor, hopefully that means it can also shrink the larger one. Third, I continue to feel better, more energetic, and my bloodwork suggests my liver function is improving — so maybe tumor shrinkage is not far behind. Fourth, chemo targets rapidly dividing cells, so the speed of its impact depends on how quickly cancer cells divide – some aggressive tumors divide very quickly, paradoxically making them more vulnerable to chemo. Less aggressive, slower-dividing cancers are impacted more slowly by chemo. So maybe my large tumor is a slow cell-divider.

This last thought is basically my own speculative folk theory about my tumor. I wish I could ask it: “Hey tumor, are you a lazy, slow cell-division tumor? More of a Type B personality?”