My Liver Cancer Blog

My very good friend from university, L, came to visit for a couple of days, and it was wonderful. I told her that my therapist and my oncologist encouraged me to stay active (“movement is medicine”), and so I had been going for long walks a few days a week. So we went on walks every morning she was here.

One of our walks was on the boardwalk that goes along the edge of the lake. Rather than park in an official lot, I parked on one of the many side streets perpendicular to the lake shore. We walked west along the boardwalk, noticing how busy the area was with people walking dogs, cycling, and playing volley ball. We stopped at a picnic table and had a serious talk about my cancer and how I was feeling. I told her how much grief, fear, and anger I had experienced before I started on antidepressants. She said she felt helpless. She wanted to help, but didn’t know what to do. I told her that her just being here was helping — it meant the world to me that she was visiting, and made me so happy. We both cried a little. As we walked back, we noticed that a little cafe was open — it was mostly burgers and poutine, but they also had an ice cream parlor, so we had ice cream for breakfast, the first time either of us had done that. I think maybe cancer gives you permission to do more things like that.

When we got back to the area where I had parked, I realized I hadn’t taken note of the name of the street. I was pretty sure which street it was, because I remembered how the lake shore looked as we walked down the street to it. But I wasn’t absolutely positive. “You don’t know where you parked?!” L said, looking a little upset. “I’m pretty sure it’s this one, but not positive. We’ll just have to walk up it and find out.” “You really don’t know where you parked?” she asked. “L,” I said, raising my voice, “I have cancer. You should be the one keeping track of things like that!” She looked at me stricken… She started to apologize, “I’m sorry, you’re right. I’m so sorry.” And then I burst into laughter. Cancer humor.