My Liver Cancer Blog

my first blog, a way for me to process my experience of being diagnosed with cholangiocarcinoma

about

I am a professor at a Canadian university. I’m married, have close relationships with my family, love my 2 dogs, love travel, and enjoy hiking (but day hikes only – not really into the hut-to-hut thing). I really hope I can get through this and do some major hikes again in the future. Thank god I also love reading novels (literary prize winners, but also espionage, detective, and sometimes Sci-fi). And thank god I live in an era of excellent tv. And thank god I love writing. There are many things I can still do that I love, even having cancer and being more home-bound than I would like to be.

If you’re new, I recommend starting with How I Found Out.

recent posts

Author: Helagrl

  • Today I felt like the Ontario government

    told me, “just go die already.” My oncologist submitted another request to Ontario Health’s Case-by-Case review program that they fund my zenocutuzumab treatments. According to their website, I meet the criteria: “The Case-by-Case Review Program (CBCRP) considers funding requests for oral and injectable cancer drugs for patients with a valid Ontario Health Card. Patients are…

  • Wish me a happy birthday!

    NB: I am transitioning to Substack, so this post can also be found here. How happy am I to be a year older? SO HAPPY! When I was diagnosed more than a year ago, I thought I might be dead by now, and I’m delighted to report that I’m not. Birthdays are a good time…

  • The Young People

    NB: I am transitioning over to Substack, which I’ve read is more user-friendly for readers. This same post can be found here. https://hollywardlow.substack.com/p/the-young-people?r=ph0w2 I remember now how I discovered Sydney Towle. I can’t believe I forgot. I feel bad about it, so I’m going to blame the chemo brain and just plain tiredness that I…

  • Dreaming of Sydney Towle

    Syd came to me in a dream, and I said, “Oh no, Sydney Towle. I’m not ready to dream about you yet.” And she left without saying a word. I imagine Sydney is coming to lots of people in their dreams. She had a million followers on TikTok, and like me, many of them had…

  • Treatment Journey Summary

    This post will probably be of most interest to my readers who are cholangiocarcinoma patients and caregivers. I am now more than a year past diagnosis, and so it feels like a good time to provide a summary of my treatment thus far. I appreciate it in FB posts when my fellow cholangio people provide…

  • Into the jaws of infusion with fortitude – only to be spit back out again + a situation that makes me even angrier than my own situation!

    Hat tip to my husband for the title of this post. Each time I go get an infusion it does feel like I have to summon all my gumption and grit and fortitude. Not that it’s been awful. In fact, the worst part of the zenocutuzumab treatment is the infusion of Benedryl I have to…

  • Jacky and Gordy

    Having cancer has meant that I spend more time at home than I usually do, and so I’ve overheard conversations between Jacky and Gordy that I normally wouldn’t. The topics of some of their conversations have really taken me by surprise. They have been more philosophical than I expected – very rooted in their own…

  • Scan results after 3 months (6 doses) of zenocutuzumab

    Well, I was hoping for more dramatic results, but I’ll take what I can get. The tumor is now 7.4 x 4.6 cm. If I compare this with what I think of as our benchmark or baseline CT scan, which was done March 29 — after I finished chemo-immunotherapy, but before I started the zenocutuzumab…

  • Slouching towards new drug approval — oops, I mean the highly efficient and streamlined drug approval process in Canada

    Oh, to be blissfully unaware of Canadian drug policy! Returning to that state of ignorance would be so nice. Or rather, never having felt the need to know about it would be so nice. But, ever since we embarked on the quest to obtain zenocutuzumab, it has felt important to have a better understanding of…

  • Sensation, symptom, or side effect?

    In January, when I had finished combined chemo-immunotherapy and just started immunotherapy (durvalumab) alone, I woke up with a cluster of small, red, itchy bumps below my right elbow. Once or twice before I’ve gotten spider bites while sleeping, and so that was my go-to diagnosis, especially because it was on my arm, which is…